The Journey of Jiu-Jitsu

So it's been a little while since the last post....during the intermission I have been thinking on what it is that we are providing in our club as our own experience of what Jiu-Jitsu is. This little train of thought piggybacked on a question and brief discussion we had in class a month or so ago. As the discussion evolved we began talking about where the techniques that we train come from. What kind of Jiu-Jitsu do we practice? Why do we put the moves together the way we do?

I keep talking about in class, how we have an evolving curriculum, and that  it will change over time. As we experiment with new ways to drill and learn, and as we experiment with new concepts of how to play the game and embrace the art form -how we are doing things will change. This change is generated by our experiences on the mat as a group with our open problem solving and question period, with our own personal 'homework' and investigation on what works and why, and by the experiences brought to the group by our coaches and members. These things combined will give a sense of what it is that you are experiencing with us.

Back to the original question... what is it that we practice? It's no secret that we train with and take guidance from the Straight Blast Gym, and its network of clubs and coaches. We also take into account training concepts from our own experiences and the National Coaches Certification Program brought to us by Sport Canada. But what is it that makes us different from others, or for that matter, others different from each other and us too. We have had the great experiences with working out and sharing ideas with the other SBGi clubs close to ours. While all of us have access to the same materials, the same coaches, and the same opportunities- there is a distinct and unique flavor in each club that makes being there in that space with those concepts on the mats different in each training space. To some degree, the members of each space and the coaches past experiences will make the big differences in vibe and feeling. But what about the material? In each club, we train BJJ. In each club, the lessons come from SBGi. But also in each club, the unique combination of which SBG coaches the club identifies with, or trains more frequently with, along with which lessons from what DVD's, instructional materials, or what-have-you, will change the nature of what it is that you do. This is then passed along to the students and people on the mats, and what they experience is again different for each of them, as what they do in each club is just a part of it all for them.

This is the Journey of Jiu-Jitsu, this is part of where I come from, and what it is for me. For those that know me well, the next part will undoubtedly make some of you laugh, as I'm about to make a comparison to a journey that I have no interest in. But, like a good cup of coffee, the journey the art form takes before it gets to you, and how we each personally experience the unique flavors ourselves is an amazing and an incredible journey. It  is one worth thinking about (even if you don't drink coffee- like ever). So, where does YOUR Jiu-Jitsu come from?

Jiu-Jitsu's journey, much as coffee's journey from soil to cup, or club, is quite amazing. First, coffee beans come from a coffee cherry which resembles a small red fruit that looks much like a cranberry. Inside each cherry are two green beans, each made up of hundreds of compounds whose composition- and potential flavor- varies based on where and how the cherry was grown. Harvest coffee from high in the mountains and it can have a flavor reminiscent of nuts or coca. Coffee grown in other regions can be more assertive, earthy, or herbal in the mouth. The composition- and potential flavor- of your Jiu-Jitsu, will depend on the region that it was developed in. Where your coaches trained, and how they trained. Did they fly to Brazil, Japan, or somewhere else? Did they train in a state-of-the-art facility or a real down-to-earth bare-bones gym?

Wherever the location, the best beans- the ones with enchantingly complex flavors and compelling characters, known as arabica- grow under some degree of stress, like high altitudes, intense heat, or long dry periods. Such harsh weather conditions can produce high-quality beans, but also fewer beans per tree. This makes arabica coffee more costly, which is why most mass produces choose lower quality robusta beans. Produced in more predicable and mild climates, robusta beans are less expensive because they deliver a higher yield per tree.  But most robusta beans also taste harsh and rubbery. Jiu-Jitsu too is developed to the highest degree if it is learned under some degree of stress. In our gym, and the SBGi we call this stress 'Aliveness' and it is how I can ensure that we are developing Arabica Jiu-Jitsu. But again, these methods because of the mat time required, and the conditions on the mats- you have to roll, sweat, feel, and go through the stress-process yourself- yields fewer but much higher quality Black Belts. Robusta Jiu-Jitsu again can be harsh and rubbery. It is learned under predicable conditions where the stress is quite low, but so is the ability of those to perform under intense conditions. When learning without having to sweat hard, or go through those moments where you have to 'dig-deep' and push yourself through to another side, or where you don't have to think for yourself, you are developing in a high yield environment. Watch-out, or push-yourself -to develop beyond robusta Jiu-Jitsu.

After the coffee beans are grown, and harvested, they are dried out. The dried beans are roasted in particular ways (there is a whole science to this), and blended in a unique fashion. These events and processes are so specific that no two companies do it the same way. It is what makes significant differences in how the product tastes in the end. In Jiu-Jitsu it is here that we are comparing what your coaches did in their own clubs, after they took their growing experiences, how did they dry-out? What unique flavors did they develop on their own? Then once they each were ready, how does your club blend them together? What combination of coaches and instructional experiences go into the information that is being supplied to your club in particular. The roasting and blending process takes a thoughtful, exacting balancing act of time and temperature. Any producer that truly cares about quality will have their own philosophy for this process, one that strives to bring the peak experience in a manner that extracts the maximum potential of the product. This process is constantly being refined and developed. In the blending phase, there is also a guiding set of principles that make it more than a random collection of techniques and sources. Each element must be inspected on its own, and then just the right amount of it has to be incorporated into the whole, to develop a particular flavor or experience in the end product. When things are blended just right, the result is a symphony of flavor that does not exist by itself. This is what happens before the product is even brought to the store or club. Each club has its own flavor, and even in the product they are presenting- the product itself has its own flavor and character notes.

Once the product is ready, how it is ground, how it is brewed, and then poured and experienced by the customer gives more opportunity for uniqueness and development of the overall experience. Again, this is where what we spoke about briefly in the first part comes into play, as each club and its members are going to be the difference in this stage of experience.

So why am I telling you this, and why am I encouraging you to think on it? It is because of a rather interesting and nifty side-note. That with this art form and product, personal knowledge of the process and personal relationship with the product itself creates a deeper understanding and appreciation of the product. Personal expression, individualized for all. The more you can think on this process and the more you can control what unique flavors you are looking for, the better training experience you will have. Choose the quality of your sources, and pay attention to the process of how your art is developing before it gets to you. Then train with it in your own way, and enjoy the journey and process. This is why I am on the mats and part of why I enjoy it so much.

Archaeology of the Self

Getting to Work 
The training process is one of discovery, recovery, and a gradual uncovering of what makes you who you are. The process can be described through metaphor as an archaeological dig. In the early days as a White Belt we work on the surface stuff. Uncovering and discovering the positions and techniques that make Jiu-Jitsu what it is. We get excited and use our discoveries to spur us onto developing our game and enhancing our athletic play in the game, further deepening our understanding of techniques and positions, of our opponents and our competitive natures.

But all of this is just surface analysis. It is getting to know the soil and much like using a radar scanner to get a glimpse of where to dig, sooner or later your going to have to use the shovel and haul the dirt out on your own. Being mindful and aware of your practice and the process of the practice itself will allow you to begin to uncover the layers of sediment. At this stage we are beginning to work with general issues that go hand in hand with ego release, male dominance and fighting in general, all the typical 'Alpha' stuff that people will experience on the mats. Dealing with fear, claustrophobia, loss, self-image, and attachment to progress or perceived progress standards. The practice allows us to refine the soil and continue to uncover more and more of ourselves in the process. All the insecurities and fears hidden by our ego's, and self image over the years like so much sediment layering over who we truly are. Once we find our shovel and begin to dig, we are effectively stripping all these layers away. This is done delicately sometimes with tools such as brushes and finer instruments to take off little pieces at a time, while not disturbing or damaging the treasure below. At other times it can be like using a backhoe to excavate large amounts of soil at once, ripping through the ground at your feet. Training sessions are versatile in that way: sometimes you need a shovel to do the heavy lifting, and at other  times you need something gentler, very subtle and refined, just to dust off, as it were. But as we know, sometimes uncovering an ancient city can take a lifetime. There is no timetable we can count on. There is no guarantee that we will reach the forgotten treasure anytime soon. What is promised is that it is there, waiting, and at times we can hear it calling to us, begging to be uncovered. The path of training, if followed correctly and with persistence, will always lead to the recovery of our lost selves, one scoop at a time.

The above excerpt was taken from a book on meditation that I picked-up recently. In the passage they were talking about mediation training, but I feel that it is equally applicable to Jiu-jitsu training as well. My adaptation of the meanings and process of mediation to BJJ are fueled by my experiences with my time on the mats. What I have felt, worked through, and continue to look forward to on the mats is nothing short of radical self-realization. How it happens, and if it happens are not always totally clear, or maybe I am not always able to observe what it really going on, and learn from it. Change happens. If you want to be able to see it while it is happening, then you need to at least be aware that it is happening, otherwise we can only document the fact that it has happened through reflection and hindsight. It is a challenge to be along for the ride completely aware of the process during change, and the challenge comes from the ability to let it all go. You cannot direct it or force it. You can't really shape it, just be along for the ride. And that is enough.

Put your money where your mouth is.....
So last week I had a good 'roll' on the mats with one of my friends and students. It was my first semi-competitive roll in quite sometime, and as a result, I was not relaxing as I wanted to, I was gassing out early, and things just didn't go my way. I was fighting hard enough to be pushing myself and trying to win all the time. It was a 15 minute match that ended in a mutual tap-out due to cardio failure. We were both exhausted. As this happened did I just relax and let go, and see the whole thing as a journey of self-discovery? Did that thought even cross my mind? Not a chance. Me, like everyone else, was attached to wanting the win. I had a consistent and continuous dialogue in my head running the entire time. That alone is tiring. All this high level self-inquiry stuff went out the window. I was worried about my moves, I was thinking about how to win the match, I was getting tired. I did not have any self inspiring moments. I was just trying to hold on and win. I was the coach after all, didn't I have to win?

After the match ended, and I was being told what a good match it was, and how everyone had enjoyed watching us roll, did that make me feel any better? Did I even hear them, or was I wrapped up in disappointment of myself for gassing out and not being able to finish my opponent, for feeling that somehow I should have been able to control things more, and that I was really out of shape. My mind began to shovel that dirt on top of my performance and protect my ego from what was really happening. I couldn't finish the match. I wasn't good enough on that day. I was out of shape, but that isn't an excuse. It shouldn't be disappointing, it is a learning experience, and why can't I just be happy for my student who had a tough match that day with his coach and came out with a win- he was able to stall out and defend against the finish. Back to the drawing board...after a good roll why did I feel that all I was left with was fear and insecurity? Then again, on the plus side- it does feel good to sweat.

A new perspective

Over the last couple years, I have had an ongoing conversation with a friend of mine who has had various thoughts and hurdles in his understanding of what training means to him, and his life. Throughout our talks, the nature of the questions that were coming up also forced me into considering what it is about what I do that I enjoy so much. When we first met it was at a BJJ seminar. From there, naturally our friendship grew around training. At times he was training because he wanted to protect himself, for the 'real' street self-defence, and military combat applications, to training for a desired increased knowledge base, and training for enjoyment- for the fun if it all. And likewise, over the years all of those reasons proved to be not enough, or not 'right' for him at the time. With deeper examination into self-defence it was discovered that learning to fight (and sometimes fight dirty) was such a little part of protecting yourself and loved ones that it didn't make sense to continue with training for that reason alone. At one time there was a career in the military, so preparatory training was in order, but when life goals changed then there was again not enough reason to continue with training on that level, training for the enjoyment of it was loosing its appeal because of internal pressure and structure of the class environments was beginning to not be enjoyable, it just wasn't the place where he wanted to be and it became less and less important to continue, the desire for competition came and left, etc. The various motivations that brought him to the mats were not enough to keep him there. Through it all, I had been and continue to be, on the mats. I really enjoy training. I have trained in a few different arts, and different styles, so when one lost its appeal for me, I just took up a new one, but it was still training. So what has kept me in it all these years that didn't for my friend? The personal satisfaction and release of stress in my life, coupled with the enjoyment of learning new things and figuring out why my body works the way it does. Was it the collecting of things, such as belts, trophies, and medals. Was it because I liked identifying with the Zen culture that I've seen portrayed in media and movies, was it all about being Stormshadow or Spiderman?

I believe that it has come down to the enjoyment of the process. The very essence of training. I deeply enjoy the process. I have little (but come on, everyone has some) attachment to the outcome. Going through the motions and the involvement of training in and of itself is enough for me. My enjoyment comes from the minutes on the mats with friends and competitors. It is something that you can't force, or attempt to control. It is also something that I was unable to articulate fully myself, and wasn't until one of the recent conversations where my friend came to me and stated that he had begun training (again), and this time it was a bit different. He went to a known gym where people were friendly and he enjoyed  the atmosphere. He knew this going in. This time he stated that instead of trying to 'enjoy' the training and make it 'fun', he just relaxed and focused on learning. Whatever they were doing, he was trying to learn his best. Forget everything else and just go through the motions that the coach was asking for. learn. This, I realized, was him honoring the process. He had been able to let things go, and train for training to get better on the mats. Because of this, he had fun in class. There was enjoyment, but it was not forced. It was pure, and of itself. He proved that you can't force a good thing. When you stop trying to shape the outcome, and let BJJ be BJJ then all the benefits of training come forwards. It is the process that we enjoy, and it is because of this that we return to the mats day after day. It is a stage of uncovering that hidden treasure or lost city. It is allowing the tools of archaeology to dig through the self. And it is done because we enjoy it.

CLUB VISIT & TRAINING

So the date is now set, our first club training trip and visit. We will be heading out to the West end of the city to our friends at Ronin Judo Club to train and grapple for the evening. It is going to be a fun evening of sharing our techniques and ideas with friends, as well as getting in a few good sessions with people who we don't get to train with all the time.

I really enjoy this kind of training, and re-connecting with friends on the mats. I believe that this is why I've enjoyed the seminar style training that I've been a part of for the last 5 years as well. I would recommend to anyone to experience training with different groups and people as often as is possible just to get a wide variety of body types and coaches' viewpoints.

This first trip marks the coming to fruition of an idea that I've had for the club since I first started teaching of being able to offer regular training trips and to network with other local and friendly clubs. It is my hope to be making a habit of visiting other places every couple months or so as part of our regular classes. This is something for everyone, as so often in the past I have seen this type of training reserved for competition teams only, or only for seminar participants. Part of why we train is for the social aspects of connecting with friends and meeting new people within the grappling community, which is why I'm so pleased to see the beginning of our training trip program.

Have fun, and keep on the mats! 

The Big and the Small

In reflecting on what I have learned and the way I have learned it, I recently arrived at the realization of how I see the differences in training as a White belt and Blue belt. As we move forwards with our understanding of the art, training becomes reduction theory more than anything else. The way forwards is through constant refinement and increasing subtlety.

The motions that define how I am understanding the game, and how I am thinking of the positions, are increasingly smaller and smaller. When I once understood large body movements, and my break through in understanding came from a realization of a new position, or how to use a certain pressure, it now comes from smaller and smaller details. I'm finding that the leaps in understanding are coming from adjustments to grip, or a slight shift of weight. From a familiar movement, or position looked at from a new angle.

This change has represented a unique turning point in my methods and how I am now evaluating my own understanding of what I am doing in the moment while rolling. Its funny how a simple change of view point has increased my challenges in training exponentially. Where I once only had the major positions and techniques to consider working on, I now have triple the opportunities within each motion to train a small little variance, my little secret battles. These victories help keep me motivated, as even if I am beat in the grand scheme of things- I often have one a few smaller battles myself in the exchange. Once I get to the point of winning most or all of these little battles, that is when I am in full control of my opponent and things are progressing how I foresee them to. In the past when things were going well, I couldn't define why things were working today, and they didn't yesterday. Now as I play through, I can identify where I am making gains and where I am not, and more to the point- how those gains and losses are contributing to what I am trying to do at the time. On the flip side of this equation is when I am playing with people who are not as experienced in the game, by focusing on these small little battles it allows me to be competitive and challenged without simply smashing my opponent or playing at a level that they could not keep up with. By focusing on one area, it allows them to recognize the possible escape routes and make a plan.

If they are not winning the small exchange, it still gives them opportunities to find a new battle in another part of the game. Which is learning for us both.

I enjoy what I am doing more. And it does not come at the cost of training partners, or ego elevation.

I think that one of the things that makes the difference while training in this manner, is the relationship to what we  call a Pocket Drill. Basically, a pocket drill is where we isolate a position or range or moment in rolling, and while having a set of criteria to accomplish or objective to be observed, we remain in that range to allow ourselves to experience the difficulty of achieving the set tasks. So, for example to play in the pocket of the closed guard, the bottom person plays their guard game, while the top person plays for a particular list of objectives. Things such as keeping your base, not allowing your posture to be broken, particular grips, whatever the personal or positional list is for you. What you are not doing is trying to open the closed guard, pass the guard, or otherwise change the position or range. The idea here is to stay within the pocket. This way you are challenging yourself to get better at these small details during the encounter. I find that this is a great way to make progress, and when that happens it makes me happy. I enjoy what I'm doing, and I enjoy the exchange and game play.

So how does this relate to the Big and the Small? Well, it pretty much turns your entire rolling experience in to a series of pocket drills- except your opponent gets to pick the pocket. So as the game changes, stick within the range, or within the position and play. Play your secret list of game objectives in your position, and win or loose- it really doesn't matter because you're fast tracking your game by focusing on the details.

Learning will change your level of performance, regardless of understanding. Let your body do it, your mind will catch up later. However, if you can increase your understanding effectively- through really digging deep and asking yourself the tough questions of why you do things the way you do, and how that relates to what you can do in the moment- then you can direct and speed up the learning process in and of itself. Every seed planted can become something great...all it takes is season after season of the proper conditions and growth.

Our New Home!

The Leslieville Jiu-Jitsu Club is 

now being hosted by EastSide TKMT!

And we couldn't be happier! Come on out to see what we are doing on the mats now. Our programs remain the same, the location is new.

Lesliville BJJ

East Side TKMT

The way forwards

I've been thinking on what I now know of training and what I've liked from the past camps and seminars, the current methods in which I train and some of the more ridiculous gestures and 'traditions' that were required to learn something new in some places. I am wondering what it all means and where I stand in regards to the development of my training, and the development of my students. 

I was reading the blog from the Roy Dean Academy lately (Click Here for Article). A couple things I really like about the image of this club is the crest (which hints at the more traditional Japanese symbolism), and the thoughts and practice behind their routines for the beginning and ending of their classes. It made me think and remember some of the things I've been through in my training. 


In the Judo classes I remember (both from when I started at 6 yrs old, and again when I restarted at 30) the formal beginning to class was everyone line up, standing bow, and begin class. Same at the end. Sometimes with the phrase "Domo arigato gozaimashita". I liked this because it was quick, but still held some sort of Dojo feel to the practice. In these classes the Japanese names and terms are used extensively, and the students are strongly encouraged to familiarize themselves with those terms.

In the Karate training days, the process was a bit more complex. The class would line up in belt order, then proceed to go to kneeling position. On command a brief period of meditation (no more than 30 seconds), followed by a kneeling bow to the founder of the art, then same again to the head instructor of the club, a bow to any other instructors of the class, and then a bow to your class mates. Then the class stands up, again in belt order and has one final bow before we begin. Each bow is preceded by a phrase in Japanese instructing the class as to which bow is coming next, which the most senior belt in the class had the responsibility to announce. Now even with all the ritual, I liked this start and end very much at the time. It was lengthy and slow which I didn't like so much, but I really enjoyed the meditation at the beginning and end of the sessions. I miss that. These classes also used the Japanese terms, and as the student progressed the classes were taught in more Japanese to the point where no technique or action was described in English. It felt very traditional, and very Asian (even though the club owner and coach was European). On the other hand, that club also had the sports team and team training was without formalities. One bow, and sparring until the end of class. No terms in Japanese, just time filled with actually doing the sport. It was great. and it was all about the workout. So my life in the club was very balanced between all ritual and no ritual. 


When I began Jiu-Jitsu in the seminars I attended, there was no bowing, no ritual, no titles. The group gathered and listened to the coach detail what we were going to do that session. Then we warmed-up and broke off into pairs for practice and training. At the end of the session, we simply ended. This seemed to be the norm for the majority of the BJJ clubs I went to. My thoughts on no ritual... I liked the way that it transforms the training into real sports training. The instructors become coaches, and the group huddle at the beginning and talk/discussion at the end are really what I like about the format. The informality of it all is quite relaxing. It lends an openness and approachability to the training, you really feel quite comfortable sharing and questioning which is such a vital part of the training process. 


About a year ago, I began training at another BJJ club where the class lined up to begin, bowed once and repeated the same process at t he end. One bow, and then everyone shook hands down the line. This again was quick and added a flare of formality to the room, but without going too far. The handshake at the end of the session was great, as it allowed a brief reconnection with your training partner and the rest of the class. It reminded me playing baseball as a kid in the neighborhood leagues, where at the end of a game both teams had to line up and everyone had to shake hands.   


I enjoy each one for different reasons. having some kind of a process for beginning and ending classes, I feel is important. It gives an opportunity for announcements, and allows the members of the class to adjust mentally to what we are about to do, and reflect on what we have done. But what do we do? Am I just attached to the ritual because I can't let it go? Does it actually serve a purpose, or am I just clutching at symbolism? Having had a few different training opportunities, how do I honor each element and experience that I've had, while still making my club my own? What collection of ritual, if any, do I decide is important for us? 


Maybe making a list of what I enjoyed at the other clubs will help...
- Formal beginning and ending period. Allow for the transition between life and the mats.
- Meditation and reflection periods. Internalize the training, visualize the process.
- Allow for announcement time, a question period, and feedback moments.
- Interaction moment with each member of the club.
- Include the 'Zen Culture' in the experience.

Reading that article this morning, reminded me about what I liked about the Japanese phrases and the Dojo feel of a training club too. I miss these things now that I have been running the club more of a sports group and gym than a Dojo. It is a tough thing to accomplish when you are using a shared space facility. The other side of the coin is how do we incorporate some of the ideas that we have, without fostering a poor environment for performance and relationship building. The last thing I want is a Sensei vs The Students- bow to me for I am he, attitude and environment. I don't think we'll ever get there, but some of the inherent Zen culture rituals are designed for exactly that purpose. We'll have to watch out for traps. 

But again, as long as we are genuine- and what we are doing isn't about control, or forced culture, it is simply an homage to the practices that my previous coaches taught me through my own journey. I think we'll be fine. 

A moment of Doubt....

This past weekend
I attended a seminar hosted by one of our friend clubs, Turning Point Training Methods. If you don't know about SBGi Toronto, then check out their web page by clicking on their link in our sidebar. Their facility is fantastic.


This seminar was taught by one of my coaches, Travis Davidson (SBGi Montana). It was the first time being on the mats with him since my travel to Montana when I received my Blue belt at the end of August. Because of my back injury at the time of the trip, I was also unable to roll at the level I normally would have (this injury also kept me off the mats for some months after that trip as well).

Rick, Travis, Cane, and Matt.
SBGi Black Belts

Since I found out about this seminar, I had been putting extra pressure on myself in class to bring my performance level back up, closer to where it should be. This has been tough, as most (let's be honest- ALL) of my mat time has been spent in teaching and very few hours have been logged in training. Now, when I'm teaching -I am on the mats with my students, and we do positional drills and free rolling every class. However, without someone keeping a critical eye on my rolls, I fear that I have been developing some bad habits and getting away with techniques that aren't really that great. The week before the seminar little doubts started to enter into my mind, and small questions like am I going to be able to perform? am I good enough? have I been on the mats enough? And this all comes down to either a) an unrealistic view of my level of performance, or b) an inaccurate view of  my current level of ability. 


So, here I am- still feeling like a brand new Blue belt, now having put extra pressure on myself to prove to my coach that I really do deserve it, and wanting to feel my increased level of personal performance. I hit the mats for what would be a two day challenge of cardio endurance and technique. 


Now the first day wasn't so bad. It was intense as far as having to perform for a 5hr class, but all in all, it wasn't so bad. At points during specific techniques my legs would be aching, or I would be getting really slow from exhaustion, but I felt ok with my personal level and thought that things wouldn't be so bad after all. The nature of having a new level or belt is that in class you (or at least, I) was constantly comparing myself to the other people of the same rank. How did they move? Who did they beat? What techniques are they pulling off every time without thought (i.e. do we have the same fundamentals base?). I know this is a huge mistake or waste of time, but I couldn't help it. And then, at some moments what I was faced with the same challenges- I felt I came up short (but just slightly). By the end of  the class, with a few new bruises and completely mentally drained (from trying to absorb so many technical details) I headed home, tired but feeling really great. There is a particular feeling from a workout well done that leaves you invigorated. This is how I felt, really satisfied. 


The next day, I woke up sore and stiff and still really tired. I didn't even want to go in (well yes I did, but I was enjoying dragging my ass, lol). The class was a bit smaller on Sunday, and as we started to warm-up for the class is when things fell apart for me. I had the opportunity to roll with my coach, which is awesome. Every time the experience is great, and I learn lots because it is a hard roll for me, but really really great. The feeling of knowing absolutely nothing, and being able to do absolutely nothing is just something I'll have to come to terms with. Now, to placate my ego, I can say- well he's a Black belt, of course this is the way and all that stuff to make myself feel better about it. But it started really hitting home when he then from a free roll, had me start with him in various positions and work from there. Then I began to give into the feelings of I'm really not that good at this position, or I don't know what I'm doing from here, and all the other doubts. And it wasn't because I couldn't hold him in the position, or because he could escape everything at will, or hold me wherever he wanted and tap me when he felt like it, because he is a Black belt after all- it came down to the point of I didn't feel like I performed my best, or even at the level of my possible game. I started realizing that my level of my game in my head was not the same as what I can perform. And this is what really killed me, somewhere along the way, I began to wonder what it looked like from the outside, what did everyone else in the room see when I was rolling? What did I look like? It was all ego, and it was getting killed.  


My next match, against another Blue belt from the club continued along the downward spiral, this time not having the safety net for my ego of the excuse- but he's a Black belt. Not having had much time to let go of my match against the coach, I was still in the self-evaluation mode and now wanting to get some positive rolls in. This was not going to happen. Again it was a matter of feeling like I wasn't able to perform how I know I can on the mats. I proceeded to get caught, and tapped for the next (what felt like ages) few minutes straight. It seemed like I couldn't even provide a challenge for my opponent, and he was a Blue belt- I was supposed to be at his level!? I mean WTF was I doing? Completely drained and exhausted (yes, from the warm-up), at one point I had to request a rest.


I sat at the side of the mats and withdrew completely into my own head for a few minutes. I had serious doubts as to my level. It was very unnerving for me to not be able to keep up with any of the other Blue belts in the room. To quote Spock "I assure you, I was emotionally compromised" and as I sat at the side of the room, I tried to not show it. I was frustrated, and heavily emotionally and ego-ly (I know its not a word) invested. What to do next? How to let it go? I considered how I was going to complete the entire second day of classes now.

Somewhere in the first hour of class, my brain shut down completely. My body figured out a way for me to let it go instead. I had reached my limit of Analysis Paralysis, and the propeller-head in me stopped (Thank God). I couldn't remember anymore details for techniques, and just followed along with the drills for the rest of the day (funnily enough, when I just did the exercises, I was no less proficient). When it came time for Q & A sessions with the coach (what a great opportunity!) I couldn't even think of a question- I felt drained. I had a friggin list of stuff to ask the day before, what happened? Eventually we came up with some stuff, after sitting around awhile but it was a struggle for me to stay engaged. 


What it all means....
Well, first off- there are quite a few issues with the experience I went through, and most people will go through something similar to these same experiences somewhere along their own path.
Trust- it all boils down to this. I trust my coach, and he gave me my Blue belt. He evaluated me and awarded me the rank. End of story- let all the rest go. Who am I to second guess his ability to evaluate my progress? Seriously dude, get over yourself. 
Ego- it all fell apart when I began to think what I looked like, and what I thought of what others would be thinking about me and my level of game. Does any of that really matter? Stop looking in the mirror when your lifting weights! Your ego is not your amigo. 
Desire for attachment- I wanted to be identified as a 'good' player. I needed it to be who I was/am on the mat. I was so attached to this thought, that I couldn't handle changing my view of the situation. Also personal attachment to wanting to perform, and setting myself up in advance for all these doubts to come true. It all really started way before the seminar, talk about issues. 
Identification with attaining validation from an outside source- This is a big one too, is the desire for me to be seen from the outside and by others (and have them tell me) of my level of game or performance, or whatever. I really didn't think this applied to me anymore, as I thought I had given up on marking the belt levels and things... but it goes to show that in the moment, when the thought came up, I couldn't let it go.
Being here, right now- I couldn't stay in the moment. I wasn't focused on my Jiu-Jitsu game at all, I was way too occupied  with silly thought forms rather than technique and reacting to changes in pressure and timing. Really, all I had to do was  focus on playing my game, instead I got caught up in my own head games. What a rookie.


The Kicker
It's all natural, and it's all ok. It's supposed to be this way. This is all part of the process of training in this beautiful art -being forced to face personal and emotional issues on the mat, where you can't lie to yourself anymore, and deal with them. The entire process is very emotional and  really gets you to think about what you are and what you stand for- on the inside. So coming through this, I feel different, knowing the holes in my game allows me to work on the areas I need work in. I feel better knowing the holes in my heart, and knowing that I can work through them and let it all go over time. Simply identifying these things as they arise goes a long way to healing. It's all good and healthy, and that's why I train in Jits in the first place, because in so many other arts these issues are encouraged and reinforced, instead of being confronted and worked through. It's all about growth. Work through it, you'll be happier for the effort. 

North-South Position

We were looking at what the options are when you are positioned at the persons head while rolling. If your opponent has their back on the ground, and you are at their head then we have a two basic options for positions. We have the 10 & 2 positions, and we have North-South or the 4-Corner Hold.
(The images in this post were 'borrowed' from one of the organisation instructors, friend, and coach - see more by clicking on the link at the sidebar to connect with his blog, The Gentle Art. Thanks Cane)

In class we limited ourselves to the Top 4-Corner hold or North-South position. We limited our game to a hold-down concept as well, which for us means no double arm wraps. This leads to more of a floating game as it leaves more space, and encourages more movement. We were putting our focus in taking away space and keeping the lock-down, so our arm positions were both arms over our opponent's arms and grabbing around the body or the belt. We drilled to keep this lock-down while the bottom person escaped to see what would happen, and what the bottom person was doing to facilitate escaping. What we found out was more about how we were holding top, and why than anything else. Our discoveries were...

3 Objectives of the position

1. Keep as much weight on your opponent as possible
2. Keep their back and shoulders on the mat and their body flat
3. Use your frames and limbs as outriggers as required 

By using this filter, we found that there were 3 basic depths of position. We had Deep North-South where our shoulders are pinning the opponents hips. There is (regular) North-South where the pressure is from our chest to our opponents chest, and we have Shallow North-South where our shoulders are pinning our opponents shoulders.

Getting out

From all 3 of these variations in position, we have found that one of our defensive postures works very well consistently. This is our Flying Monkey posture. The important aspects of the posture are that you tuck the bottom elbow way underneath you (you are lying on it fully), your head and jawline are in contact with the mats, the top arm is used to anchor your opponent (heavy frame), your bottom leg is bent with the knee toward your bottom elbow and toes pushing into the mat (for tripod ability), and lastly the top leg is 'flying' - meaning that the knee is pointing to the ceiling with the hips open wide.  

Take note of the bottom arm- it is deep! The rest of this posture
is similar but not exactly what we refer to as 'Flying Monkey'

The game from here is making enough space, so that you can gain this posture, and from the posture it will be very difficult for anyone to stop you from getting to quarter position and escaping. And that was it, the entire escape game was turning underneath them to get to quarters and shoot or attack or pull guard or whatever from there.


Next we reviewed some secondary escapes that were position and pressure dependent, each one only working for one of the ranges or depths mentioned above. I'm not going to bother reviewing them here as they are pretty position specific and if we are focusing on one aspect, I'd like it to be the posture and getting to your knees. Experiment with things like Hydraulic escapes, Pendulum escapes to your knees or to pull guard, and rolling with leg attachments much like you would from an Oma-Plata sweep if you can get their knee to the mat. Anyways this should be enough to keep you busy until next class....

Re-Thinking our approach...

The other night I had a great conversation with a good friend and training partner, and it made me re-think our entire approach of how we are doing, what we are doing. Are we on the best path possible?

I was talking about our membership and how I was finding it a bit difficult to get new people in through the door .We had just run a small advertising campaign and promoted a new beginners course for the January season- with no new sign-ups whatsoever. It was disheartening to say the least and I began to doubt my approach to how I am advertising or attempting to generate interest in the club.

Since we began the Leslieville Jiu-Jitsu Club 6 months ago, we have had what I am assuming is an average problem with most new start-up businesses- how to get more clients through our doors, and how to get our message out there for the public to hear. We are in a bit of a bind because we are operating from within another space. We are sharing space with a Yoga and Pilates studio, so the sign on the outside of the building doesn't have our name on it- which isn't that big of a problem, it just presents a challenge of how to explain how to find us. On the plus side- operating out of a Yoga and Pilates Wellness Centre is allowing us to identify with another side of Jiu-Jitsu.

The emphasis on a more holistic martial art rather than the underground fight club is something that I enjoy, and I believe that it translates over to the feel of our club. We are a bit more relaxed, and strive for 'play' not 'fight' when on the mats. And this was the way to go....or so I had been thinking.

Relaxed...too much?
When we first opened our doors and had the first few trials and students join in, no one had trained anywhere else before. We were dealing with beginner students and beginner athletes. So the idea was to teach classes at their level, and introduce them to a more athletic game as we progressed.

This also made for classes heavy on technical understanding, as the athletic level was lower. The pace of the class was slower, as we spent a bit of time introducing the concepts and walking through the techniques.

The concept behind all this was something which I was introduced to called 'Slow Rolling'. The idea is that through technical but relaxed and slow paced rolling, the body could develop areas of the game that it would not get a chance to experiment  with while under heavy pressure. The rolling is light pressure, slow pace, and with emphasis on technical control. Then we would pick up the pace as we began to drill the exercises.

From the feedback I have heard this was working well for those involved and was enjoyable. However, as we are finding out, you can have too much of a good thing. With only having experimental games there is not enough time spent under medium pressure where the students get to learn what doesn't work. Playing a lazy game and easily falling back into guard all the time is ok, if your guard is awesome and is a real threat. It is not so awesome to be in the habit of giving your opponents easy guard passes and top control because you only know how to go super-light pressure. We need an 'A' game before we work on the 'B' and 'C' games. It's time to let those stones drop...

From time to time we have had some of our friends come by that have trained before, and wanted a more relaxed environment than they had found in other clubs. They enjoyed the technical side of our classes and because they had not been on the mats regularly they didn't mind that the pace was a bit slower.

They also enjoyed the added safety of doing things relaxed and slowly- as in other clubs where the environment is heavily competitive, it can be overwhelming for non-competitors. When you just want to learn, and your partner is having a fight or die attitude, it can be a bit much. I have seen injuries from this mismatch of training values. It is important that the people who train together, have the same desire for pressure and intensity.

Friends in need
Then another friend joined in the club. This time however he was someone who had lots of previous training experience at a few different locations over a couple of years and has also worked with me privately for some time. He knew what he wanted, and he also knew of my technical understanding and enjoys working with the concepts I teach. The feedback I received from him was a bit different than what I was getting from other people- and it drives to the heart of what we do.

His suggestion was to go harder. The learning in class was too much and it therefore slowed the pace too much. Make it slightly more about the fight, and what I think he meant was to have less of the introduction and technical side of the class and more of the figure-it-out-by-doing-it side of the class. The suggestion was interesting but raised a couple of concerns right away.

1) I do not want the club to run its classes as some other clubs I have seen, where a technique is shown or explained briefly followed by the instructor announcing 'let's roll' and having the students figure everything out on their own, in the moment, under significant pressure. I want the students to be able to develop their experimental games as well as their pressure game, and to have all at a high degree of understanding .

2) I also did not want to loose the emphasis on the positive lifestyle and mental/physical benefits from the training. I did not want it becoming overly competitive and being all about the fight. We still need to have a high degree of technical ability and understanding in the classes.

Safe aggression
But these 2 points are a bit unfounded when I listened to him explain further. As we spoke in more length it became apparent that what he was talking about could be achieved without letting go of what is important to me. The suggestion was that by going harder in class, and making the class more athletic we would attract more students.

His opinion is that men, teenagers, or anyone who has apprehension or fear of aggression in their lives come to train to help deal with it. By getting into the wrestling match it supports the reason why people are attracted to BJJ in the first place- the desire or need to experiment with a kind of aggression. The fight response in a safe environment, much like almost every animal does in their social positioning of figuring out who is the alpha for their communities.

When we can do this in a sporting fashion so that it is about the athletic release while acquiring ability in the game, then we can take the emphasis off of the outcome, as it is not important who is the alpha for us. What is important is that we go through the process of the fight. The moral of the story...

Less IS More...

By teaching less in each class and shortening the introduction stage it will allow the students to concentrate on an individual aspect of rolling more fully. With less to absorb we can also allow for more time drilling and rolling rather than going over the technical learning and explanation.

This is different than not being as technical, it is just taking smaller steps to get there. I am to blame for the progression of the club so far, and am now also responsible to implement the change. I think because of my training experiences (which have been mostly seminars) I am used to learning several things at once, and usually in a small span of time. Then taking it back to digest it later- and I now realise that this is how I've been teaching a lot- by teaching a lot.

So we take it back to one concept or technique per class, and drill it like crazy. The fun and enjoyment of the art is in the doing, not in the learning about doing....and by doing more often we then bring it back to all the other benefits that martial arts can bring to the table. The aliveness and general well-being experienced only comes through when we have a high degree of doing in class.

Technical, but strong....

So the way we are moving forwards is really more aligned to where we should have been anyways. I may rethink our workload but I am not rethinking our training completely.

We will have shorter introduction phases only because I am teaching less in each class. Which means that the drilling opportunities will be longer and more frequent. And the overall biggest change is that our rolling time is increased.

In the days where all of my students time is more important than anything else, we have to make the training functional for everyone. When you have the chance to get out of the house, I want you coming home spent and tired. Not just mentally, but  exhausted physically too. I think this was the major thing we were missing and probably due to my own laziness. So we are going to go harder, to make us stronger in the game- we are not going to become a fight club.

So the new side of our training....is actually an old idea

This gives me the perfect chance to implement some of training models that I've been thinking on for years. I was going to wait until we were in our own space before bringing them all in, but there is no reason why I shouldn't start now with what we have thus far. So new concepts are probably more aligned with my old concepts of running the club- controlled and heavy focus on a specific area of the game or technical component during the free roll.

The base of our classes will be on this free roll concept, with technical instruction layered in on top. This reminds me of an open group I used to help run downtown and then in the east end under the name of TAP-Toronto Submission Fighting Group (You can view an old article from the Toronto Star Newspaper about the group. And on that note- look for the return of the TAP Group soon in our new location).

It was an environment where there was only free roll classes. It was up to the students to educate themselves outside of the training and work on their own, all the time. It was fun, but in reality- everyone in the group could have progressed much more quickly or fixed mistakes in their game with a bit more formal instruction. But it was super popular and attended regularly. We are getting back to this- except we are adding in the  drilling with set parameters, the area missing from the open group.

There will be specific days and times for instruction on particular areas, and we will have a general Q+A session each time we get on the mats. I am going to have structure to the program, so those of you looking for the old group will find something familiar, and those of you looking for guided instruction will find that as well.

Upcoming for this year with the club, we are going to be hosting guest instructors for seminars, other local clubs to have rolling days with, field trips to gyms as a club to roll with them, tournaments for those that have interest in competition. Lots upcoming, so keep in touch and let us know how you're liking it.

Leslieville Jiu-Jitsu Club